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Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners

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Baseball Shorts: 1,000 of the Game's Funniest One-Liners (Hardcover)

by Glenn Liebman (Author) "He doesn't have to worry about a hockey game getting rained out in the middle of the second period..." (more)
Key Phrases: Casey Stengel, Rocky Bridges, Yogi Berra (more...)

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"The secret of managing a club is to keep the five guys who hate you from the five who are undecided." -- Casey Stengel "Do they leave it there during games?" -- Bill Lee, upon first seeing the Green Monster, Fenway Park's 37-foot high left-field wall "The cops picked me up on the streets at 3:00 am and fined me $500 for being drunk and $100 for being with the Phillies." -- Bob Uecker "Well, she's already had so much experience grabbing herself, she should be great." -- Jay Leno, on Madonna appearing in the movie A League of Their Own "I pitch like my hair's on fire." -- Mitch Williams

From the Back Cover
In this collection of baseball's funniest quips, zingers, and malapropisms, players coaches, owners, umpires, and celebrity fans sound off about the national pastime. Baseball Shorts includes the humor of over a century of baseball, and all the game's legendary characters and current superstars are featured—Yogi Berra, Casey Stengel, Tommy Lasorda, Mickey Mantle, Phil Rizzuto, Deion Sanders, Rickey Henderson, Lenny Dykstra, and others. Hall of Famers as well as modern-day wisecrackers, from Ralph Kiner ("All the Mets' road wins against Los Angeles this year have been at Dodgers Stadium") to Charlie Hough ("When I broke in, they didn't have bats—we just grabbed the branch off a tree") to Larry Andersen ("If a guy is a good fastball hitter, does that mean I should throw him a bad fastball?), are included. Baseball fans of all generations will applaud the wit of Bob Uecker, Joe Garagiola, Sparky Anderson, and hundreds more in this witty and entertaining collection of one-liners.

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